How not to get published.

This is a non-scientific list about how NOT to get a book published.

I'll add a new observation every day this week about how to avoid getting published. My first observation is this: Lazy writers do not get published.

There are many reasons why lazy writers can't land a book contract. For benefit of space and time, I'll cover just a few. First and foremost, lazy writers don't spend enough time with their rears adhered to the chair pumping out the words. They talk about writing. They watch the latest Oscar winning movie and tell everyone who'll listen that their story is better. They lament with their unpublished friends about how cliquish and unfair the business is. They discuss ideas and say, "Someday I'm going to finish that book." Or start it...

Hence, they never get published.

Lazy writers don't bother to learn the craft. They say, "I'm from the school of hard knocks. My story is about REAL life. It will set the industry on its ear and have readers clamoring to buy my book. My mechanics aren't that great. I forgot most of my high school grammar rules. I not really sure what Point of View or back story are, but my story will make up for all that. That's what editors are for."

Lazy writers don't look for smaller markets to publish their work while working on their novel. The day will come to seek publication of your novel. Editors and agents will want to know your bio. M.B.A.'s are impressive, but that doesn't mean you can artfully string two sentences together. What's your experience? Where were you published before? Friends' blogs and article directories don't count. Get published somewhere that pays for your work. Not only is the practice and experience invaluable, you will show you are a writer who can produce something someone is willing to pay for.

Lazy writers don't go to conferences. There is no better--or more fun--way to learn the craft, make contacts, and get inspired. Most aspiring writers don't have many writer friends. It's difficult in those early days to find someone who understands the frustrations and joys that go along with the writing life. Every person at a writers' conferences hears voices in his head the same as you.

Lazy writers don't take the time to build a platform. Nearly as important as getting work published in a smaller market is having built an audience before ever approaching a publisher. I don't mean you must have 10,000 readers committed to buying your book before a publisher will open your submission. But competition is tight and getting tighter. Thanks to the Internet it's easy to get your name in front of readers. Create a webpage. Every writer should have one. Guest host on writing blogs. Create a Facebook page to promote your work. Write articles about your area or expertise, even if it's just about writing for publication.

It will take more than a well written book to get the attention of publishers and agents in today's economy. Don't get lazy or get used to a mailbox full of rejection letters.

Make them Suffer

While preparing for a writers' workshop--You Can Write a Novel--I came across this great quote by Alfred Hitchcock.

“Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.”

While Al was speaking more of moviegoers, the sentiment can easily be applied to writing. I love quotes. I love using them in teaching and using them to inspire myself. And this one is a gem.

"Always make them suffer." This is every writer's purpose. Build an emotional attachment between the reader and the character, put the reader into the situation, and create extreme nervous anxiety that stretches the reader to the very limit of endurance. Make them suffer.

Isn't that when you know you just read a good book? When you, as a reader, became part of the action. When you felt like you had something to lose. Even with romances, YA, or picture books, pull your reader in. They should experience whatever the character experiences. Whether romance or danger or the exhilaration of buying the perfect dress at 80% off, the reader should experience these sensations.

My challenge to you today is to open your current WIP at random. Any page. Open and start reading. Is there tension on that page? Does it capture your imagination? Do you want to learn more about the character and the situation just by reading that one small excerpt? Is it enough to keep you reading? If not, raise the stakes.

Happy writing and make them suffer.

Ever feel like you're drowning?

“A writer should always feel like he’s in over his head” by Michael Cunningham.

I am so happy a writer of more importance, talent and accomplishment than I’ll ever have admitted this. I suppose it validates that I am truly a writer.

While in the throes of a writing project, I nearly always feel like I’m in over my head. I’m not especially gifted. I’m definitely under educated, and reputedly out of my league among my writing counterparts. So when one proclaims that a writer should feel exactly the way I do year after year, manuscript after manuscript, I breathe a sigh of relief.

Writing takes a lot out of a person. I think the hardest part of writing is to make it look effortless. Readers don’t care about the blood, sweat, and tears that went into creating a project. They want to get lost in the story. They want it to flow as if it magically flowed out of the writer’s pen…or keyboard.

Our role as writer is to create an exciting, restless, and unquenchable curiosity in the reader that compels him to keep reading through until the very end. It's not to make the reader aware of our anguish and toil.

A friend once told me of the difficulty she put into finishing a college paper. She said, “I’m not like you, Teresa. It comes easy to you. You don’t have to belabor every word like me.”

That was the greatest compliment I ever received. Of course, I had to go and ruin it by telling her she couldn’t be more wrong. I agonize over every word I write. I have been known to spend an entire day rewriting one paragraph where the hero tells the heroine he likes how her hair catches the light.

So no, it is never easy. But our readers should believe it is. Our egos cry out to let the world know how we toil over every word. We want them to know how we suffer, how we struggle, but yet, we overcome. Let’s face it. They don’t care. They don’t want to know. They just want a story.

This writing thing isn’t about us. Don’t kid yourself, dear writer. It’s all about the story. Every word, every carefully crafted sentence, every beautifully scripted page. It’s about the story. Let us not disappoint our readers. We should fascinate them. Intrigue them. Bewilder them. Enchant them. Even terrify them. But let us never be accused of disappointing them.

What writers can learn from a friendly turkey and family reunions

Our neighbors have a pet turkey. Turkeys make better pets than you might think. This one is rather amusing to watch. He pecks around the yard, talking and garbling and intent on making friends with everything in sight. Unfortunately my dogs are not nearly as congenial with him as he is with them.

The other day while trying to enjoy a leisurely walk with the dogs, the turkey caught sight of us and ran out to greet us. While he saw potential friends, my dogs saw an early Thanksgiving dinner. As my husband and I tried to deter the turkey and keep my Lab from latching her jaws around his straggly turkey neck, my fingers became entangled in the retractable leash. If you’ve ever used a retractable leash, you know why they come with labels warning against getting your legs or fingers near the rope. The fingers of my left hand are seared top to bottom with rope burns that made writing nearly impossible all weekend.

The pain has subsided for the most part and I have mobility back in my digits. But Saturday and Sunday were a wash as far as accomplishing much with my writing. Losing a weekend writing and figuring out how to someday work a turkey encounter into a novel made me realize once again how inspiration can strike at the most unlikely times.

Sometimes a writer need go no farther than his front yard for ideas. Saturday before the turkey attack, we attended a family reunion. A niece talked with me about whether or not her boyfriend would propose and what she would say if he did. She loves the guy, and is pretty sure he’s the one, but what if she’s wrong. A husband and wife spent the whole time sniping at each other and drawing unwanted attention. I overheard a conversation about a cousin who disappeared about forty years ago. The family finally tracked her down in another state a decade or so back. She has children of her own and a life none of us know anything about. She emphatically stated she did not want contact from anyone in the family. Someone whispered about rumors of “incest” and knowing glances were passed around the table. The conversation quickly shifted to layoffs and unemployment and of family members who had died since the last reunion.

I’ve heard it said the best way to repair the sagging middle of a novel is to throw in a dead body. Since that scenario doesn’t work for every piece of fiction, you may want to pay attention to what the old folks talk about at the next reunion, wedding, or funeral. Or just walk your dogs around the neighborhood and see what kind of exotic pet captures their attention.